Four: More than Just the Ending

I recently had an experience that, now that I have had the time to step back and think about it, I think it was destined to happen. It was one of those experiences where, in the moment, I was really taken back by it and very confused as to why it was happening. Someone from my past, reconnected with me after almost a decade.

This experience was something that confused me for a little while. I always believe that a person is put into your life for a reason and that everything happens for a reason. I think that every challenging person that is in your life is going to be there for a learning experience – to allow you to grow and learn about what you do and do not want in future relationships in your life. Therefore, I always question the purpose of certain individuals that are in my life. What is their purpose? Why are they being sent through my path as a challenging person?

As weird of an experience as it was to reconnect with someone after almost a decade, not even a week later, the news of a childhood friend taking his own life had begun circulating in conversation. As difficult as it was to cope and understand why he chose to take his own life, there was also an immense amount of clarification and closure that both these experiences provided me.

I believe that having this individual reconnect with me after almost a decade was destined to happen because it allowed me to cope with the suicide of my friend with more clarity and understand that he is at peace now. He suffered with his demons for years, but he should not be defined by those demons because those demons were not the definition of him – he was so much more than that.

We are always so focused on the way things end. We push away the good times and focus on the ending. Why do we focus on the negativity at the end when we can focus on all the positive and fun times that happened throughout? Be at peace knowing an ending gives you closure, but don’t just focus on the ending. It was more than just the ending.

Many people can relate to this – I know that it definitely helped me. It is so easy to focus on all the negative aspects of relationships or situations, but this isn’t healthy. The situation or relationship is more than those negative aspects. Sure, the ending can be messy and that because the ending is so vivid in your memory, being the most recent event to happen, it is so easy to focus on that. But if you look at all the situations and relationships in your life, there were so many good times and so many fun experiences that happened throughout, that we tend to forget most of those and push them aside because of the bad ending. You owe yourself the mental clarity to let go of all the negative and embrace all of the positive. Focusing on the more positive aspects in your life is not something that will be easy, it is a change in your outlook on life, but taking a step back whenever you feel yourself stressed and in a negative headspace, will allow for more clarity and a more positive view on the situation at hand.

It is always more than just the ending.

-lyss

xoxo